


Betwixt and Between

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-25
Updated: 2012-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-22 09:49:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/608478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This wasn’t about him; this was about her and what she was feeling.  As usual, she pushed her feelings down deep in the pit of her stomach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Betwixt and Between

**Author's Note:**

> MILD SPOILERS FOR 6x18, LAUREN, AND 7x01, IT TAKES A VILLAGE!

She didn’t expect to see him when she looked through the peephole but there he was. Sighing, Emily opened the door and looked at her Unit Chief. It was like déjà vu; she remembered a night like this many years ago. Of course on that night she was a little more dressed than right now.

“Hi.” Hotch stepped over the threshold.

“Hi. I um…”

“I know I didn’t call and I apologize but I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to talk to you earlier but there was a lot going on. I understand...I’m doing my best to understand that. And I know you wanted to make sure Declan was alright. I understand Emily.”

“OK,” she closed her terry cloth robe tighter around her. “That makes one of us.”

“What?” he looked a bit confused.

“What's going on Hotch?”

“I wanted to talk to you a million times, Prentiss. I couldn’t risk sending you an email and having Doyle find you. And then I was in Pakistan and I wasn’t sleeping at night…”

“You were in Pakistan? Wow, a lot happened while I was away.”

“Yes it did.” Hotch nodded. “There are so many things to tell you. I probably should've said it before but it was never the right time. We never seemed to be on the same page. You opened yourself to me and I walked away. I didn’t always want to even if it was the right thing at the time. But now…”

“We’re out of champagne, love.” Clyde Easter walked down the stairs of Emily’s condo and into Hotch’s line of sight. He didn’t change the expression on his face as he looked the Unit Chief up and down. “I didn’t know you had company.”

“I was about to say the same.” Hotch said. “Good evening, Agent Easter.”

“Agent Hotchner.” Clyde nodded.

Emily looked back at Clyde and then at Hotch. His expression had gone from a possible open door right back to the poker face she was used to. His body language had taken on the brick wall with barbed wire. That was certainly nothing new. She tried to smile but knew that whatever had nearly happened was as good as gone.

“I hope this isn’t about work. I think Emily has done enough for the past few days.”

“Clyde…”

“It’s not about work.” Hotch said. “Emily has been through enough to last a lifetime I think. I just came over to make sure she was doing alright.”  
“There's Cristal in the fridge.” She said to Clyde. These two didn’t need to be talking, especially if she was the subject. Emily didn’t feel comfortable watching them one-up each other where she was concerned. 

Deep down she thought it might have nothing to do with her. A line had been drawn in the sand, cocks were out, and some pissing was going on. This time Emily Prentiss just happened to be the territory. “And don’t look at me like that; I didn’t buy it.”

“I refuse to ever turn my nose up at a good bottle of champagne. I’ll get it and leave you to your conversation.”

Hotch watched Clyde walk into the kitchen. The Interpol Agent was dressed in expensive dress slacks and a white Hanes tee shirt. He was barefoot, carrying an empty bottle of Moet. It seemed as if they were celebrating. Apparently her BAU family wasn’t the only ones happy to have Emily Prentiss back amongst the living.

“There's a bottle of Moet in here as well.” Clyde said when he opened the refrigerator. “I think we should have it.”

“Whichever you prefer.” Emily didn’t take her eyes off Hotch when she said it. She didn’t know what he was thinking and yet knew at the same time. Was he silently judging her? If he was then he surely had no right. What was he even doing there?

“Agent Hotchner, it was great to see you again. I'm going to excuse myself.”

“Goodnight, Agent Easter. I shouldn’t have come Emily, I'm sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” She shook her head.

“I have this tendency to drop in on you unannounced and that’s not fair.”

“You’ve done it twice in five years. I don’t think that’s the true definition of tendency. I’d like to talk to…I could come to Quantico early tomorrow.”

“No.” now Hotch was shaking his head. “No, its fine and you don’t have to do that. I'm sorry for showing up unannounced. A simple phone call would've told me that I wasn’t needed.”

“Don’t do that. You always do that and it pisses me off. Wow, I didn’t think that I would ever say that but after being dead it doesn’t pay to hold things back. If you want to talk then so do I.”

“I'm not even sure what to say.”

“Well saying something is better than saying nothing. At least I think it is. I'm all talked out though.”

“Are you sleeping with him?” Hotch asked. He couldn’t hold back his disdain when it came out.

“That’s not any of your business. Clyde is an old friend; he's more than a friend. He's someone who’s been important in my life at different times. I can't turn off caring about him just like I can't turn off caring about you.”

“I just want you to be alright, Emily. I want…”

“We’ll talk in the morning.” she reached for his hand. 

It was the first time since he was in the hospital after Foyet stabbed him that she’d touched him in that way. So much happened in that year and a half. Their whole lives had changed and there was no going back from what they'd been through. Not that it had been so idyllic in the past. 

“Actually I um…” Hotch cleared his throat as he slipped his hand out of hers. “I have meetings in the morning at Headquarters. The unanswered questions are infinite and there will be consequences to our actions. I'm the leader of this team; I have to stand up.”

“You're never standing alone. You know that. Well, sometimes I think you know that.”

“I know that.” he nodded.

“So, maybe coffee in the future?” Emily asked.

“Maybe.” his smile was tentative, his dimples barely showed. “Goodnight, Emily.”

“Goodnight.”

She wanted to hug him. She wanted so much to feel him; just as she had all of her other teammates when she walked back into the BAU conference room. Emily knew that wasn’t his thing but she didn’t care. This wasn’t about him; this was about her and what she was feeling. As usual, she pushed her feelings down deep in the pit of her stomach. She went to the door and opened it.

“I'm glad you're back.” he walked to the door. “The road ahead might not be easy but…”

“When has it ever been? I'm alive; that’s all I'm going to ask for tonight.”

Hotch nodded and walked out the door. When Emily closed it she leaned on it and put her face in her hands. There was no point in crying. She’d done enough of it in Paris, mostly out of anger. All she wanted while away was to come home and finish what she started almost a decade before. Now it was over. 

It was over and the people she loved were safe. Soon the glow of having her back would fade. There would be a lot of questions to answer. Emily didn’t want to think about that tonight. She probably wouldn’t be able to stop but she would try. It wouldn’t be the first time she drank away her sorrows.

He stood on the other side of the door with his hand on it. Why didn’t he just say what he needed to say? While it had been a shock to see Clyde Easter come down her stairs Hotch could’ve still spoken to her. But it threw him for a loop. How did he even know that Emily was still alive? 

When had he come to town and how long was he staying? What kind of relationship did Emily and Clyde have? Was it just sex or something more? Would Hotch be OK with it just being casual sex? What right did he have to be OK or not OK with any of it? 

He’d already interfered enough in Emily’s life. She had no say in him sending her off to Paris to protect her from Ian Doyle’s wrath. She was back in control and spending the night with Clyde Easter. That was all Hotch needed to see and know.

“Are you alright?” Clyde asked. He handed her a glass of champagne before Emily walked over to the window and admired the view.

“I'm fine.”

“She replies in that ‘I'm not fine at all’ voice.”

“I'm fine Clyde.” Emily turned to glance at him before looking out the window again. 

Everyone loved the views in Paris and the one from her apartment was unparalled. If Emily never saw it again it wouldn’t matter. She was free back in her Watergate condo. At least that’s how she was supposed to feel.

“It’s alright if you're not.” He got up, walked over to her, and wrapped his arms around her from behind. A smile crossed his lips when Emily relaxed against him. “You don’t always have to be the hero. You don’t always have to be the strongest person in the room.”

“It’s all I've ever known to be. I'm a Prentiss…it’s in my blood. It’s why you chose me.”

“That is absolutely not why I chose you Emily.” Clyde kissed the nape of her neck. Her hair was damp, pulled up, and it smelled amazing. Her skin smelled amazing too.

“That’s not what I meant.” She replied.

“Well that’s what I meant. Come to bed; you need to rest.”

“You are not taking me to bed to rest, Clyde Easter.” When she turned and took his hand, Emily managed a smile. She shivered when thunder rumbled in the sky above them.

“Actually I need to rest.” He smiled. “I didn’t want to say, I have a reputation to uphold, but you’ve worn me out. Surely I’ll be top form in the morning but a good night’s sleep will do us both good.”

She drank the glass of champagne and then put the flute on the nightstand. Clyde toyed with the knot on her robe before undoing it. He pushed it off her shoulder and let it fall on the floor. Emily smiled when she was naked, pulling Clyde closer by his belt. She undid it and then undid his slacks. They pooled at his feet and Clyde stepped out of them. They made their way into the messy bed, wrapping themselves in the blankets.

“I don’t have to rush to Quantico in the morning.” she whispered, cuddling in his arms.

“I don’t have to rush anywhere either. I think it might be fun to not rush together. Was everything alright with your Unit Chief?”

“Let’s not and say we did, OK? That’s probably the best for everyone involved.”

“To make it easier on everyone, I'm going to pretend I understood what you just said.” Clyde replied.

Emily laughed some. Then her cell phone rang. Her first thought was to ignore it but Emily never ignored her cell phone. In her line of work that wasn’t probable. She turned and reached for it on the nightstand. Seeing the face and number made her answer immediately.

“Hey.”

“You know what, it’s never going to be the right time. It hasn’t been the right time in four years. Maybe it has been and I was just an idiot, I don’t know Emily. I know I can't keep pushing it down…I feel like I'm going to explode. When you died, when I thought you were dying, I died inside too. I left the country. I went 7100 miles away and I still never stopped thinking about you.”

“We weren't 7100 miles apart, only 4800.” She said.

“It may as well been a million.” Hotch replied.

“I know there's a lot on your plate but lets have coffee soon.”

“We can have lunch tomorrow. I should be done with meetings by 2 and I’ll be in DC.”

“I’ll meet you at Headquarters. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Emily.”

She hung up the phone and lay back in bed. Clyde looked at her but it seemed as if she couldn’t look at him.

“You're going to be rushing tomorrow, aren’t you?” he asked.

“I honestly don’t know.”

“Alright.” Clyde leaned to kiss her cheek. He came close to her and Emily wrapped her arms around him. Then he whispered in her ear. “This is a new beginning. You can write this chapter anyway you want to.”

Emily wanted to put the pen down for a while and take a break. The last couple of chapters took a lot out of her. Now the hero needed a break from it all. Most would've thought that seven months in a beautiful foreign country would be paradise. 

For Emily Prentiss it had been purgatory…stuck between heaven and hell. Now she was back on earth, amongst the living, and it was time for her to do the same. Everything changed; she wasn’t sure how to find her way again. It might be nice to have someone close who could help.

***


End file.
